1

The last time Bruce felt the dizziness was when he had done the Valsalva maneuver. He had pooped hard stools. It did not stay in his memory for long, but, when he did remember, he instantly knew that his poop was black. It is a tad funny what the brain can hold on to, when encountering desperate situations. Because, it had been three months since he had consumed Iron tablets to replenish the lack of Ferritin substance in his body. He was 48 years and, lazy.

His wife for 18 years, Emilie, always complained that Bruce wouldn’t go to the Gym. Adding to that, she would pull him to the verandah to force a sun bath. Wearing just a towel, Bruce would sit on an arm chair, scratching his hairy chest (which every man is bound to be proud of) and hum a tune of a song which he had heard in an advertisement or maybe a local TV program, when he was younger. The original song was sung so bad by the actual singer that he would wonder why he had even bothered to hum it, and that would make him feel embarrassed.

‘Bake like a cake,’ was what Emelie would say with a laugh.

Bruce would calmly lean back on his chair with his hands placed on the back of his head as if he was watching a Manchester United versus Chelsea match in his office lobby, and would just say ‘You shall see.’

Bruce had promised himself that he’d take a Gym subscription after returning from Ras Al Khaima. He made it a purposeful habit to visit his parents every year end.

2

That winter was unusually cold. His mom would ask Bruce to exercise and would make fun of his weight, which was obese in logical calculations.

She would show him some videos on YouTube and ask him to do it each morning. Bruce would never say a ‘No’ to his mom. He was scared of his Pappy too. He believed his dad had a wrench instead of a hand, which he used to twist his ear.

It used to be a common episode when he was young. His dad had caught him smoking once, and had let him go with just a warning. But, Bruce’s friends would offer him more cigarettes just for the pleasure of him getting jacked by his dad. And as it turns out to be a true saying, dad’s can be merciful only once, and the wrench would soon come again.

People who watched this melodrama would be convinced that Bruce was still a child wearing his diaper to his parents, to this age. His mom went a step ahead and reminded him of the Pearly Gates, if he didn’t exercise. Bruce believed it.

He was, therefore, obliged to lookout for exercises, which he promptly did. He selected a few videos and ear marked them for daily use. While hunting for exercises, there was an advertisement that gave a monthly subscription for calisthenics and on a discount.

He figured out, well, it is easy peasy. Anyone can do it.

There was an old garage near his parent’s house, where the men worked their shit out during the day, and (for the hearty laugh which Bruce believed that kept him alive) where they appear as a drunk skunk in the wee hours. But, Bruce was sober and had only once tasted beer during his convention. He remembered the taste of the bitter liquid and the wrench.

The garage wouldn’t open until 10 a.m., and that gave Bruce enough reasons to visit the Garage to lift some weights. Raw weights that might give life to his fat. He started with some tyres that crushed sales card board boxes (someone had changed the word ‘Ejection system’ on one of the card board boxes to ‘Erection system’) on its move.

The first few days of exercising were good, until one day, when he realized that he had placed both his legs on one side of his underwear. He bent to wear it correctly, when he felt it. It was as if some force pushed him from behind. When he stood up, the world rotated around him.

He couldn’t believe it for the first time. So, he bent again and in the process, checking if he has worn his underwear correctly, and there, it was, the same push and the dizziness. He was scared. He wobbled as he walked, and the dizziness seemed to come in batches.

‘Mom’ he yelled.

3

Back in Dubai, Bruce would rock on his chair wearing his towel (and now his head is oiled and massaged by Emelie) and enjoying a sun bath.

‘Believe me Emelie. I wanted to take the Gym subscription, but, for the dizziness.’