In the vastness of the ocean lies an undefined innocence. The deeper you dive, the beauty becomes evident. The depth of innocence is beyond an understanding that the more evident it becomes, you are at bliss.

This year, I was in Kannur, a coastal town in the southern part of India. I was on vacation, but, not at a holiday destination. I went there to see the ocean.

I believed that a connection existed between me and the ocean. A certain romance. I never tried to decipher that connection. I was never really interested to know. Why should I? Some connections are better imagined and felt than understood. I was happy that it was a deep connection.

My brother-in-law, an avid photographer, decided that he had to snap the sun set. So, we went in his car. The closer we got to the sea, we were excited. A child like enthusiasm was fast enveloping us. He started to talk about the numerous sun sets he had captured at the Chennai’s famous Golden Beach. I believed he was a perfectionist, or at least trying to be one. Meanwhile, I was at loss for words. I was not interested in speaking. Because I just wanted to be there. With my ocean.

To my surprise, he didn’t take us to the beachside. Rather we took a detour and reached a ferry. Old boats were strewn across the rugged beachside. Broken toddy bottles, beedi buds, ash from burnt fish, dog shit and sea shells were in abundance. A few rowdy seafarers were looking at us, scratching the overgrowth on their tough jaws, a perfect demeanor of their uneasy lives.

I was worried, I looked at my brother-in-law, who picked up his costly DSLR camera and the Ray Ban glasses from the car. He was happy, because, he wanted to take the challenge of a rugged prop featuring the sun set.

So, I asked him, ‘Where is the beach?’

He looked appalled. ‘Well, this is it?’, he replied.

I shook my head. Not my place. This was a contrasting scene. The calmness was distorted by the lashing of waves on the gangway. The mirth of life was just a dark shadow here. I was not amused.

The scene looked like our life, in its exactness. Everything doesn’t seem to be in order. It cannot be.

Disappointed, I tried to amuse myself with a dog, who decided to reach and coax me for a free meal. I threw a croissant at it, which I was munching while I got out of the car. The cur ran across (nearly fell once) and munched at it with great joy. Two different beings of the same creator, but, with different meanings of hunger pangs.

I look at the ocean, praying and hoping that it could give me a glimpse of what I came asking for.

In this omnipresent chaos, two boats seemed to drift towards the shore. The boats were moving at a very slow pace. Yet another contrasting sight. Though, it was a beautiful sight. The boats were moving slowly towards the gangway with the sun set in the background.

I looked at it with awe. Amidst all the chaos the scenery has presented, the ocean has a certain way to sustain peace within. The boats were proof to that. The boats represented a castaway in innocence. It brought back a certain degree of peace from within.

I was in love with the ocean. Is this what I was waiting for? I didn’t understand and I did not want to?  I did not care. Because, I was witnessing the innocence of the ocean, yet again.

I did not wait for the boats to reach the shore, and I turned away, back to the car, where my brother-in-law was already packing today’s booty.

He looked at me. I was beaming with joy.

‘You seemed to have found what you wanted’, he said.

‘Yes, indeed. The connection is never lost.’ I whisper to him.

Because, I knew, I was at bliss.